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Seeking trailer trash to pick my belly button

My name is Billie-Ray Jackson and im lookin fer someone to pick my belly button cuz my hands are busy holdin beer and my goods and i am lookin fer women who dont bruise easily with few teeth and other definin features fer broads who like pickin belly buttons i want a daddys girl and i want to go chickadee huntin so you need to shoot a gun and i want a girl with more guns than me i have like a lot of guns whose number i am incapable of countin due to my lackluster education and i am an athlete cuz i indulge in competitive drinkin sometimes i beat myself at it i dont get haircuts cuz i depend on spontaneous fires to keep my hair at an appropriate length and im unemployed i live off my farm and heavy industry inheritance my parents were engineers

i like to collect boots because they are very useful like when its cold outside i like to wear them instead of going barefoot or wearing white shoes with grass stains

i like ridin lawnmowers and four wheelers cuz them is good transportation for goin to bars to get wasted as i drink away my inheritance and dignity